Broken promises
by don't-eat-the-jam
Summary: Matt was getting used to a life without Mello. When Mello reappears, he tries his best to adjust to having his childhood friend back again.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, Mello, or Matt.

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Matt's POV

I couldn't say no to Mello. I had never been able to, and that hadn't changed. This time, I had to. Even though my curiousity would kill me if I didn't go to the meeting he had organised, I couldn't let him come back into my life. He had abandoned me at that horrible orphanage – had left with a sigh, a kiss on the cheek and no explanation. Now he wanted me again. The email he had sent me didn't give away much, but that was obvious.

_Matty, _it started,

_Meet me at the Boar cafe, 3pm tomorrow. Be on time._

_-M_

He hadn't written his name, but I knew it was from him. Nobody else had ever called me Matty. I could imagine the smirk on his face as he typed up the email. Of course I wanted to see him again. It had been such a long time.

I wouldn't go, I decided. I was busy that day, and although I did want to go, I didn't want to bring back all the memories. If I went, Mello would think he was in control like he had been in our childhood. If he really wanted to meet me, he would contact me again.

The day passed, and guilt hung heavy in my heart, and I regretted not going as much as I had regretted not running after him when he had left me. At around 7pm, I heard the familiar alert of a new email. I wasn't sure how he'd gotten his hands on my personal email, but it was Mello, so it wasn't surprising.

_Matt_, I got the feeling he was disappointed in me for not arriving.

_Please meet me at the Boar cafe tomorrow at 7pm. I need to see you._

_-M_

Please? Need? Mello had never used those words when he had been with me, so I supposed it must've been serious. I knew it would be emotionally dangerous. Mello knew how to manipulate people better then he knew how to care for them, but that wasn't the only thing that worried me. If I went, he would drag me into whatever problems he was having and I'd be the one who'd have to fix them. It had always been that way, even if I hadn't realised when it had started.

I went anyway. I showed up to the Boar cafe at 7, just like he had asked. It was shut, so I waited outside it, wondering when the blonde would show up. "Matt. You came." It was him. It was really Mello walking towards me with a familiar smirk on his lips. His voice sounded like honey, just like it had always sounded. "It's nice to see you." He spoke in such a pleasant tone that it made me wonder whether he meant it. The smirk on his face turned into a smile, and I found myself smiling back. I wanted to go over to him and just hug him, hold him close and breathe him in to see if he still smelt of chocolate and danger, of promises and adventure. It didn't take me long to notice the scar marring his usually flawless face, and I wondered how he had received it. Scar or not, it was amazing to see Mello again. He hadn't really changed – he still had the bowl haircut and his eyes still held that self satisfied glint that made you wonder what he knew about you that you didn't. We stood there in silence, each sizing the other up. I wasn't quite sure why he was silent – he had always been talkative – but I was too stunned to say anything.

"I'm in some serious trouble, and I need a place to stay." Mello finally said, and I couldn't help sighing. It had always been that way – he would ruin something and I would clean up after him. It seemed he hadn't changed all that much.

"For how long?" I asked, not sure whether to feel joyous or annoyed he was coming to stay with me.

"Just until I can sort myself out." When he spoke, I caught a bit of embarrassment in his tone, and wondered what was going on in that blonde head of his.

"Alright. You can stay with me." I answered after a moment of thought, hoping I wouldn't regret the decision. His face lit up, and I was sure I had made the right choice.

The car ride home was quieter then I had expected. Perhaps we were just adjusting to being in each other's company again.


	2. Chapter 2

Mello's POV

Matt's apartment was just like I expected. Messy with clothes strewn haphazardly on the floor. I would really have to do something about that. Make him clean it, perhaps. That was always my strategy back in the orphanage. When I turned my gaze on him, he had a faint coating of pink on his cheeks. Did that mean he was embarrassed by his dirty apartment, or was he thinking of something else? Back when we were kids, I had been able to look at Matt and figure out what was on his mind immediately. Now I could tell he was keeping his emotions from me, and that was more frustrating then I had ever imagined it could be. Not that I'd ever imagined it.

Other then the fact he had probably never cleaned the apartment, it wasn't too bad. He had two rooms, and I got one of them, which was better than I had expected. I hadn't wanted to ask him for help at first, but now I was pleased I had. He hadn't questioned me on why I needed to stay at his, hadn't even asked where I had been. Of course, I wasn't planning on telling him what type of trouble I was in.

"Still obsessed with video games?" I asked, lips tugging up in a smirk as I picked up one of his games off the coffee table, blowing the dust off. His answer didn't come for a while, and I wondered if I had surprised him somehow.

"Yeah." He said with a soft sigh. He paused a long moment, and I could cut the tension in the room with a knife. "Mello, I'm not going to let you boss me around, if that's what you were thinking of doing." I smiled at his words, contorting the scar, creeping it down my face. I knew that I would get my way like I always did. So instead of arguing with the red head, I just nodded.

"Sure. It is your apartment, after all. Dirty or not, it still belongs to you." I replied, looking over at him and putting the game down. He blushed lightly again and muttered something about needing to clean up that I didn't catch. My gaze followed him when he left the room and I wondered if perhaps, I had actually hurt Matt when I had left him. I mean, sure, we had been best friends, so it would've hurt at least a little bit, but I had promised to come back. Didn't he remember that? I had never planned on letting go of him forever. He belonged to me, in the way a toy belongs to the child that owns it. I had claimed Matt, taken him under my wing on that first day he arrived into the orphanage. He belonged to me, whether he knew it or not. I would have to remind him of it. But first, I had to play by his rules in an attempt to make him trust me a bit more. Cleaning the apartment would be the first thing I would do.

I waited until he had left the apartment before I looked through the cabinets in the bathroom to find the cleaning products. Cleaning was harder then I had expected. I had never cleaned before, and didn't know what went where. By the time I figured out how to use a vacuum, half an hour had passed. Sometime during the middle of my cleaning spree, Matt called to tell me that he would be late because he had to meet with a client. I played it cool, reassuring him that it would be fine and that I wouldn't eat all the chocolate and that I wouldn't burn down the apartment either, or the building. Well, I'd try not to. It was pleasant to know he had remembered how much I adored chocolate, but surely he didn't expect me to keep my promise about not eating all of it? He out of all people knew I wasn't good at keeping promises.

The apartment looked relatively liveable when I was finished with it. In fact, I was probably the dirtiest thing in the place, and that wasn't including what thoughts were going through my head when I had been cleaning the bedrooms. After my shower, I finished the last of the chocolate and sunk down into the couch, nearly sinking through it. Not only did Matt not know how to clean, but it seemed he didn't know when he needed new furniture either. I got off the couch before I could hurt myself, wandering around the empty apartment until I stumbled on Matt's laptop and almost hit my head on the wall. I wasn't sure how Matt had survived with his habit of leaving things in places they shouldn't be. I hid it under his bed with a smirk, sitting down on his bed. I didn't fall through a hole in it, and I counted that as an achievement. It was then that I heard the door open slowly and Matt call in, "Mello? Are you alright?" I supposed it must've seemed odd to him – all the lights off in the middle of the night and silence cloaking the small apartment.

"Yes. I'm fine." I called back with the smirk set on my face, waiting for his inevitable reaction.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the wait. School got intense.

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Matt's POV  
Something wasn't right. Had everything been fine, Mello would've been harassing me. This was the quiet before the storm. I flicked on the light and prepared myself for something horrible, like broken video games stranded over the floor in between chocolate wrappers. Instead, I was confronted by the completely clean room. Had Mello been cleaning? No way. "Mello? Did you clean the apartment?" I asked, shock visible on my face as I closed the door. I hadn't known Mello was able to use a vacuum, yet alone clean a whole apartment. He had never cleaned the room we had shared at Whammys, and I wasn't sure why he would start now.  
"Yep." Mello called, and although I couldn't see him, I could almost see the smirk on his face. I doubted Mello had cleaned the whole apartment, so I checked. With every room, I grew more surprised, with a mix of confusion. When I finally got to my bedroom, I wasn't at all surprised to find the blonde laying on my bed like he owned it. He probably thought he did. His gaze fixed on me, and I wondered how long he had been waiting for me to get back.  
"You did a good job. Thanks." I said, standing in the doorway and feeling uncomfortable – mostly because of the seductive look he had on his face – even though it was _my_apartment. (And my bedroom.)  
"I know, and you're very welcome." The half smile on his face and the sweet tone of the reply told me there some major point I was missing. I knew Mello had cleaned the house because he wanted something. He didn't know the meaning of "nice", and he wouldn't have done anything nice for me either way.  
"So... Are you hungry?" I asked, although there were a lot of questions that I would've preferred to ask, but I doubted I would ever get the courage to. The one I wanted to ask the most was the most painful, but it was tearing me apart, and had torn my heart in two ever since we had met. _Have you ever cared, Mello?_  
"No." Mello answered, and I froze. It took me a few long seconds to realise he was talking about the question I had actually asked. I sighed softly when I realised what must've happened.  
"You ate all the chocolate, didn't you?" I asked, although I already knew the answer. On his twelfth birthday, I had gotten him a huge basket of chocolate – plain – and he had eaten it within the day. All by himself as well.  
"All?" He echoed, then snickered, "There was barely enough to keep a small family of raccoons alive for a day."  
"Well it's good we aren't a small family of raccoons, then." I snapped, starting to become annoyed at him. Silence fell, and you could've heard a pin drop. I could almost see the cogs whirring in his head, and they matched my own. I supposed we had been a family of sorts, well, as close as you can get to having a family in an orphanage where everybody hates you and there isn't enough respect to go around. We had trusted each other – which was important. That was why it had hurt so badly when Mello left. He had taken a little piece of myself with him. I stepped towards him to apologise for snapping at him and tripped over own two feet, landing on top of him. I wasn't too sure how it happened, but I ended up having my arms around him and he was holding me close like he was scared I would disappear, like I would leave him like he had left me all those years ago if he let go. He hadn't held me in years – nobody had. I had missed him so much that it ached, and now he was back and holding me like he had when I used to have nightmares about silly things like monsters under the bed. That was when the tears came, and I couldn't stop them. He didn't let me go or make any sarcastic remarks like I had expected him to. Instead he held me tighter and murmured promises I knew he would never keep into my neck.  
"I'll never leave." Not true, although I would've loved it to be. "Everything will be alright, I promise."  
Well, that was the biggest lie of them all.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the wait. I'll be on holiday soon, so I won't be able to do any writing then because I probably won't have internet.

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Mello's POV

Yes, I was caught up in the moment. I hadn't expected him to fall onto me, and I certainly hadn't expected him to start crying. What else was I supposed to do, other than hold him? I missed holding him, missed the soft scent of watermelon soap that he always used, missed the feeling of warm skin on mine. I could vividly remember the first time I had hugged him. We were around six and he had tripped over something and started crying, and I held him so he would stop. Needless to say it had worked. Now he was all grown up, but the tears didn't stop when I hugged him. I hadn't realised just how much he had missed me. So I just stroked his hair and murmured promises to him that I wasn't sure whether I was going to keep, but what could I do? Many promises later, he stopped crying, but I didn't stop holding him. He muttered something to me about family, and I gave him a soft squeeze.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, my gaze fixed on his features. I couldn't see it very well since he had curled into me, but I didn't really mind.  
He stayed silent, and I felt like I had broken him. Neither of us had been perfectly stable at the orphanage, but when we were together, we balanced each other out. "I'm fine." He muttered and I nodded, continuing to stroke his hair. We stayed like that, his tears drying on my shirt and my arms holding him together, until we fell asleep.  
When I woke up, he was gone. I stretched out, leaving the bed and room in a sombre mood. I walked straight to the kitchen, where I opened the fridge and searched for chocolate but didn't find any. I stood there for a while, staring at the fridge door. The apartment was completely silent, which meant Matt had left, and I really hoped he had gone to get chocolate. I heard the door unlock and somebody quietly walk in. I could hear the rustling of plastic, which meant that it was Matt, and he did have chocolate. Perfect.  
"How much chocolate did you buy?" I asked the moment he stepped into the kitchen, and I got a confused look in return.  
"Enough to feed a large family of raccoons for a week. How did you know?" He asked as he unloaded it into the fridge.  
"I could smell it." I lied, grabbing a chocolate bar and pulling off the wrapper. I dumped the wrapper on the counter and I snapped off a piece of chocolate with my teeth, letting it rest on my tongue while I watched the hacker.  
"What are you planning on doing all day? I'll be busy." Matt said, closing the fridge and turning to face me.  
"Lounging around." The corners of my lips lifted up slightly and he rolled his eyes. "And playing video games isn't considered busy." I added, slipping off the counter and ruffling his hair before leaving the room. He called something after me but I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy looking through his games. I could hear footsteps trailing after me, which meant he had followed me, just as I had known he would. "I'll verse you in this racing game. If I win, I get to be your master for an hour." I said with a grin, still not facing him. I heard him gasp slightly and a chuckle slipped past my lips.  
"A-and if I win...?" He asked, stuttering slightly over his words. It was nice to know I could still get him hot and bothered.  
"If you win, I'll tell you everything you want to know." I turned around and answered him, meeting his gaze. He had a bright blush on his cheeks, and a warm feeling flooded through me at his nod. I let him set up the game, carefully sitting on the couch and trying to figure out how to win the game against him. He was obsessed with gaming and was great at it. I, on the other hand, was average. I'd have to cheat somehow. I had to win – I really didn't want to answer his questions.  
The game wasn't too hard, and the hacker won the first round. "That was a practice round." I said when he stared at me with puppy eyes. He sighed dramatically then turned back to the TV. This time, when we were racing, I crashed into his car.  
"Mello! Don't cheat!" He whined and I smirked, not caring about his thoughts. Now that I had first place, I was sure I would finish in first place.  
Finish in first place I did, much to the annoyance of Matt. He glared at me and grumbled something about me cheating. I crawled over to him with a smug look in my eyes and a wide grin on my face.  
"I win. Don't be so irritated, it really doesn't suit you." I purred. His eyes narrowed.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey all c: I'm going on holiday for ten days, so I most likely won't be able to post another chapter until I come back. Thanks for all the reviews on previous chapters. This is also my first time writing smut from first person, so please tell me if you think it went alright.

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Matt's POV

I should've known he would cheat. He had never played fair – not even when it had been my 8th birthday and he had been going against me in a speeding game on the new gaming console I had gotten. It had upset me when he won back then, and it did now. Now he was eyeing me in the same way a jaguar might view its prey, and it made me want to run. I didn't get a chance to – he moved onto my lap and in one quick motion, he moved me so I was lying on the couch and he had my wrists pinned down.

"Mello, what are you doing?" I asked as he moved around until he was straddling me, a knee on both sides of my ribs. It felt sexual, and it unnerved me. This was why I didn't play games with Mello. It wasn't that I didn't have feelings for the blonde – I did. That was the problem. I had never gotten rid of those feelings, and now he was playing with them, just as he had done when we had been in the orphanage.

"Enjoying my win." He answered, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Close your eyes." He said, and I closed them, my heart pounding. I could guess what he deemed enjoyable, and none of it seemed pleasant to me. It went quiet after his sentence – neither of us bothering to say anything.

I was just about to push him off when I felt his lips on my throat, and I felt my face go a bright red. I chewed on the inside of my lip as he ran his lips up my throat, then down again. It seemed like he was just experimenting – not doing anything too pushy just yet. It was either that, or he was teasing me. I was starting to get used to the feeling when he pulled the skin on my throat with his teeth, and I bit my lip harder to stop from moaning or giving him the satisfaction he wanted. He was definitely teasing me. He let go and chuckled against my skin, gripping my wrists tighter.

"You're so boring, Matty." He purred against my throat, pressing soft feathery kisses against it. I liked the way they felt but I kept my mouth shut, not daring to say anything. It was then that he changed his tactic, pressing his lips against mine. I kissed him back hard and he slipped his tongue into my mouth, running it over my lips and teeth. I bit it lightly and the weight on my wrists disappeared, his hands running down to my shoulders. I slipped my hands into his hair, gripping it as he bit my lower lip. I pulled on his hair, wanting him to stop and continue at the same time, and I think he understood that, but he continued with his attack like he didn't care, which he probably didn't.

Mello's POV

Matt tasted like cherries and cigarette smoke, which I found out when my tongue slipped into his mouth. It wasn't a pleasant taste, but it wasn't unpleasant either. I'd have to get him to quit smoking – the cherries I didn't mind. I could feel his hands pulling on my hair, which threw me off a bit. I wasn't really sure if he wanted me to continue or stop, but I assume it meant continue. Even if it had meant stop, I wouldn't have stopped. I moved my mouth to his jaw, running my lips down the smooth skin there. I ran my tongue down it, enjoying the gasp it got from him. He really had no idea what he was doing, and my head was starting to hurt. I gripped his shoulders tighter with a smirk, feeling his hands finally relax in my hair and wrap around my neck, pulling me closer. I moved so I was lying on top of him and he wrapped his legs around my waist, pressing his lips back against mine. The kiss was pushy and hard and desperate, and I couldn't help wonder if he had ever done this before. He was acting like an amateur. I was growing tired of the silly game, so I put my hands lightly on his sides and bit his shoulder hard, wanting to hear his gasp. He pulled me closer against him and I ripped off his shirt, chucking it away.

Matt's POV

We were acting like animals. His hands were all over me, touching and feeling and it was all I could do not to moan. I pressed my lips to his neck, breathing in his chocolaty smell and pulling on the skin with my teeth like what he had done a few moments again. I unzipped his vest, pushing it off and letting it fall to the floor. If I had been thinking properly, I would've been embarrassed at what I was doing, but the only thoughts in my head were those about how soft his skin was and how nice everything felt and how much I didn't want him to stop. The next few minutes continued like that, hot and pushy and animalistic, until we were both sweaty and panting and soon I was on my stomach and he was on top, sinking his teeth into my shoulder. I think he said something about pain but I didn't hear him properly, and I guess the weird part was that I _just didn't care anymore _because it was _Mello_ and I had missed him so much and this was what I had longed for. He teased me with his fingers, making me suck on them then pushing them in, and it felt odd but not uncomfortable. He pushed until I gasped and moaned and my body shuddered with anticipation and I just wanted him to _please get in_ and I moaned that loudly, and soon he replaced his fingers with his member, and it hurt, but the pain was pleasant in a way. We were all moans and gasps and tension until we cummed, and my thoughts started to calm down as the tension all went away. He rolled off me onto the floor and I laughed lightly, moving so I was on my side and looking down at him. He smirked up at me, humming softly.

"Looks like my hour is over." He said with a wink, and my face went a bright red.

"Yeah, I guess it is."


	6. Chapter 6

Mello's POV

It was such a relief to have Matt out of the apartment. He hadn't left me alone for a week now, always hanging around near me. Even when he did his work, he would still be there. I hadn't thought it possible I would be happy to have him out of my sight, but when a client of his demanded to meet with him, I let him go. He had been pleasantly surprised at how easy it had been convincing me. He made me promise not to look through his private items, although I thought it was a silly idea – leaving me with everything private and expecting me not to go through it. He had said something about needing to trust me. I had nodded and played along – just as I had always done when he had said silly things like that.

I waited until I was sure he wouldn't be coming back before I started looking through his belongings. The phone was first – I read all his text messages, looking for anything I could use to blackmail him if necessary, but there wasn't anything that caught my eye. He had a lot from somebody who signed off with "W", but other than that, I didn't see any interesting messages.

The laptop was next. It took me a few minutes to log into it, and that was only because I had accidently turned on Caps Lock. His password had been simple. After all, I had chosen it when we had been children. He tended to forget things like that, it seemed. He didn't have much saved on his laptop – only some documents and photos. The photos were mostly of female models, but there was one of me and him together. I stared at it for a while, trying to figure out how it could've happened. Photos had been strictly prohibited in Wammy's. We were both around eight years old, and I was grinning at the camera while he was looking at me with amazement. I'd have to find out how he got that photo some other time. I closed the photos and looked at the documents instead, only finding them to be full of random numbers and letters. I looked at his internet history, surprised to find that there was none. Something about it just didn't add up. Either he didn't use this laptop at all, or he didn't trust me enough to leave everything unlocked. That bastard. He had been expecting me to go through his computer – of that I was sure. I shut down his laptop, instead going to his wardrobe and going through his clothes. I had a rough idea of what I was looking for, but it wasn't completely formed. I found cigarette stubs, pieces of paper with numbers written on them – those I took with a frown – and random receipts and wrappers. It seemed Matt had never been particularly clean. I looked through his bedside drawers, smirking when I found a packet of condoms hidden under socks. I could imagine his embarrassment when buying them.

Matt was better at hiding personal belongings – better than I had ever been. When I finished my search, I had gained almost no new information about him. I had gained blackmail material, which I couldn't use unless I revealed I had broken my promise to him. That wasn't much of an issue – I had broken many promises. I would stay silent about it for the time being because it would work well, and I'd allow Matt to build up his trust in me. I would benefit from him trusting me completely – it would mean easy access into his bed and life.

Matt's POV

When I came back home, it was late at night and Mello was already sleeping. It felt different in the apartment, a tense sort of atmosphere. I went straight to the laptop that was on the table, wanting to see if Mello had broken his promise to me and went through it. It turned on quietly, and it didn't take me long to check. It seemed intact – it didn't look like he had done anything. He hadn't deleted the photo of us together like I had expected him to, hadn't copied or sent it to himself. Perhaps he hadn't touched my laptop after all and had kept his promise. I doubted he would've done anything traceable with my phone, so I just checked if it was in the same place I had left it in.

"Don't you trust me enough to believe me when I said I wouldn't pry?" The voice made me jumped, and I spun around to see Mello standing by the doorway with his arms crossed over his bare chest. His eyebrows were raised, and I could see anger in his gaze.

"Uhhh.. I-I was just c-checking my phone for texts," I said, cursing myself in my head for stuttering. He had always been able to tell whether I was lying, and I was sure he hadn't lost that talent. He started towards me, approaching me like a lion would approach his prey. I was waiting for him to pounce.

"You're such a horrible liar, Matty," He said, the words rolling off his lips. Something was wrong – something was terribly wrong. He looked so angry – it radiated off his body in waves. "Why don't you trust me?" He was standing in front of me when he said that, and I stared at him.

"I-I do trust you. I was checking my texts." I had a memory of him snapping that I couldn't get out of my mind. It had been when we were around twelve, and somebody had been teasing him about his parents. They started calling him "Yellow Mello", and that was when he had lost it. At the end of the fight, he had knocked out one of the bullies and landed the others in hospital. I felt him getting back into that mood, and it didn't feel good at all to be at the receiving end. His hands pushed me back at my shoulders, until my back was against the wall, and his hands were gripping my shoulders tightly.

"I hate it when you lie." He hissed into my ear, and my eyes closed half way, his breath warm on my ear.

"Please Mels, you have to believe me!" I begged, putting my hands lightly on his sides. "You know I trust you, you know I do!" I exclaimed, my voice wavering.

"If you trust me, then why did you make me promise not to look through your things? Were you scared I would find something?" His voice was silky smooth, and that was never a good thing.

"No, Mels, I wasn't thinking properly, please just let go, you're hurting me." He _was_ hurting me. His nails were digging into my shoulders so hard I thought they would bruise and he was pushing me against the wall. Suddenly all the pressure disappeared and he let go.

"Then you'll let me look through your laptop and let me check your texts?" He asked cautiously, his eyes narrowed. I nodded, terrified of getting his wrath placed back on me. "Good," He said, and pressed his lips against mine in a soft kiss, almost like an apology. When he pulled away, I swore I saw a smirk on his face, but he turned away too quickly for me to really look. "I'm going to sleep," He announced, leaving the room without looking at me again. God, why was he always so dramatic and pushy? I was aroused and terrified at the same time now, and I hated it.

"Goodnight." I murmured, too quietly for him to hear me.


End file.
